Reminiscences: Catherine Dafler

Today marks what would have been my grandmother’s 100th birthday, and I think it’s a fitting anniversary to memorialize as we start this digital family connection.

Catherine Dafler, 1925 - 2024. Read her obituary here.

Grandma Catherine was a rare sort of person who was open, caring, and concerned about people at her core. She wanted to be around people and care about them more than anything else. She was concerned about keeping people comfortable, helping them feel welcome and loved. She seemed to know everyone, though that didn't necessarily mean she remembered your name. If your name didn't come to mind, you were either a "Honey" or a "Sweetheart".

Grandma founds ways to make an impact. Our church had to rearrange the liturgy partly on her account. When the congregation was invited to greet each other and share God’s peace, Grandma took that as an opportunity to be thorough and comprehensive. Many times I’d turn my back and moments later I’d return to see Grandma on the opposite end of the church, hugging a friend and laughing. It became such a delay in the worship that the church moved it to the end of the service... but what never changed was the fact that every one in that church, guest or longtime member, knew from firsthand experience that they were welcomed that day. She was a mainstay at Vacation Bible School and in the Women's guild. Grandma’s attention to details and caring personality could have more powerful impacts as well. At a Senior Center outing to a Reds game, her attentiveness caught when one of her neighbors became ill during the game. She noticed before anyone else and made sure that first aid was administered. My wife's first encounter with Grandma was under less-than-ideal circumstances. We were dating at the time, and we were visiting her family in Chicago when I got the call that Grandpa had passed away. We did the five-hour drive over to Ohio for the services, and Melanie was uncertain what to say to Grandma. At the visitation, I introduced Melanie to Grandma and before Melanie could offer her condolences, Grandma darted right over for a hug. "Come here, honey, I love you so much!", she said, just like she'd say to any of us cousins, and just like that Melanie was One Of Us.

I'd like to emphasize another trait about my grandmother that I took for granted until I was older: she was surprisingly fast. She was quick on her feet, even into her elderly years. You turned your back on her in a store at your peril - she'd just zip right away. She could navigate a grocery store in record time - probably her way of respecting the fact that as a non-driver, someone (Grandpa, or a friend, or one of her children) was waiting on her in the parking lot. She kept physically fit until the very end of her life without setting foot in a gym - she just kept living each day and I guess she demanded her body to keep up with her heart. She certainly felt the pain of aging, but she kept an optimistic spirit about it. One afternoon she gave me the rundown of all of her ailments and medications, and to me (in my twenties) it sounded pretty daunting. "Oh honey", she replied with her smile. "I guess getting old isn't for sissies!"

Grandma was the prototypical grandmother in many ways - constant supply of hard candy in her purse, lots of love and affection for her grandchildren, frequent gifts and lots of toys in her home. Her home didn't have a "couch"; it had a "davenport". We wouldn't sit in the "living room"; we would sit in the "parlor". She also had the standard-issue "circular cookie tin full of crayons" that seemed to be a stereotypical Grandma-house fixture in the 1980s. But in others she was out of the ordinary. Cooking was never her forte. How many times did she interrupt us, ten minutes in to Sunday lunch, by suddenly leaping to her feet and saying, “Oh! The biscuits!!” (which were inevitably burned to the color and consistency of hockey pucks)? She also had a playful spirit. She could draw quite well, and she once surprised us cousins by revealing she could still do a somersault. I remember once she was going through a stack of photographs and was passing them over to my sister and me to look at. We were shocked when she showed us a photo booth strip of her and her girlfriends from a trip to Atlantic City. There she was - our saintly grandmother and three of her friends, all wearing their old-lady glasses, grinning while they flipped off the camera!

Grandma set a pretty high standard when it came to loving and caring for others. While many times I received praise and congratulations for my accomplishments, Grandma always expressed her love and pride in me for just being who I was. I credit this to her dedicated faith life and her devotion to Jesus. She took Jesus's commands to love everyone to heart and she set about doing it. And as a result, she was a light in our family that still shines - both here in our hearts, and I believe in Heaven as well.

I'd love to hear your memories of Catherine as well! Please share your thoughts in the comments or in the Dafler Family Forum.