Christmas Weddings

For the holiday season, I wanted to step away from our long-running exploration of the original Dafler children and look into what seemed to be a strange pattern in our family history:

Why did so many Dafler couples marry on or around Christmas?

Once I noticed the pattern, my initial assumption was that a Christmas wedding was just an opportunity for a particularly festive wedding ceremony. And why not? Christmas is such a beautiful and joyous time of year, so why not add to the festivities with a wedding?

Artist's interpretation of what a Christmas wedding might look like.

From the Dec. 23, 1923 Dayton Daily News.

Turns out Christmas weddings were usually less of a romantic choice and more of a pragmatic decision. First off, holding a wedding at Christmas was not unique to our family. By the 1920s, the annual rush to the county clerk for licenses before the courthouse closed for Christmas was so common that the newspaper would run articles about it. Montgomery County, Ohio, licensed at least 40 to marry on Christmas Day, 1923; a similar number married in 1920.

These Christmas nuptials were most typical among working class families. The pattern was first observed in England, when a man of modest means could only be sure of a single day on the calendar where neither he nor the members of either family would be expected to work. In a farming community, December is a time where the fields aren't being worked, so farmers can relax and enjoy the festivities. And of course, families of all classes and professions gather at Yuletide. Holding the wedding at a time when all are together is a sensible way to minimize costs and maximize the number you can share the celebration with.

And these patterns still occasionally occur today. Melanie and I have attended three weddings that occurred near Christmas among our friends. In each of those cases, the wedding was scheduled to fall between college semesters, or during a school holiday break - with a Christmas wedding as the result.

Here are eight Christmas weddings from the Dafler family tree, along with details that we've unearthed from our research:

1864: John Earhart Dafler and Catharine Miller

We don't have much information on the marriage of John Earhart Dafler to his first wife, Catharine Miller, on December 22nd, 1864. According to their marriage license, they were wed by Daniel Miller (probably NOT a direct relation to Catherine), the minister of the Upper Twin Dunkard church from 1849-1879. This church district had three meeting places; the Wheatville church house was built in 1862. The church, south of West Alexandria on Halderman Road, would be a likely place for this wedding to take place.

1877: Lewis Phillip Dafler and Alice Stockslager

We learned about Lewis and Alice in last week's blog post. Their marriage took place at the Lutheran church in Farmersville, Ohio on Dec. 20, 1877. Notably, Alice's sister Catherine also married at the same date and time. (I don't know who went first.)

Lewis was a farmer just starting out in life, much like John was. This would also fit in to the pattern of a modest farmer who had to choose a date for a wedding that didn't take him from his work. These ceremonies were the foundation for a pair of fifty-year-long marriage. Their golden anniversaries were jointly observed at a party in West Alexandria, which made the papers:

From the Jan. 1, 1928 Dayton Daily News.

1895: Emma Dafler and William Baker

Thirty-one years after her father's Christmas wedding, Emma Dafler

(the daughter of John Earhart and Elizabeth Kilmer Dafler) wed William Baker. Their wedding occurred on Dec. 25, 1895 and was solemnized by Rev. Samuel Horning, a minister in the Wolf Creek German Baptist church near Brookville.

1895: Flora Louise Dafler and Charles Guntle

Meanwhile, on the same day that Emma married William, another Dafler wedding took place. Flora Louise Dafler, the second daughter of Christian Wolfgang Dafler, married Charles Guntle at the Reformed church in West Alexandria. I wonder how her grandmother chose which ceremony to attend?

This was not the only time Flora would walk down the aisle. Charles would die in 1924, and Flora would remarry Everett Lines one year later. This marriage ended in divorce in 1928. In 1929 Flora (then 50 years old) married Simeon Wegley. Unfortunately, Simeon passed away the following year. Flora would marry a final time in 1935. This marriage also ended in divorce.

Her fourth husband, Samuel Hoy, would marry Ida Belle Erbaugh in 1945. Ida was the widow of Orion E. Dafler - Flora's first cousin, once removed.

1908: Nora Dafler and B. F. Buehner

Nora Dafler married Benjamin Franklin Buehner on Dec. 22, 1908. Nora was the 11th of the 12 children of David Henry Dafler, and Nora would go on to have 11 children with Benjamin as well. I haven't yet found a marriage record for Nora and Benjamin.

The David H. Dafler children. Nora is in the center of the front row; Joseph Raymond is to her right.

(I can, however, remark on how many Founding Father and presidential names appear in our records. There are two Benjamin Franklins who married into the Dafler family, as well as one Andrew Jackson. We also have a Wilson Woodrow - good call on swapping the order. )

1914: Joseph Raymond Dafler, Sr. and Wanda Unger

Six yeas later (Dec. 24, 1914), Nora's younger brother also celebrated a Christmas wedding. The 20-year-old Joseph Raymond Dafler married the 17-year-old Wanda Unger.

Joe's young life was not the easiest. His mother passed away during his infancy; his father remarried when he was four and then died when he was a sixteen-year-old. Joe ended up working in Ingomar for the Glander family, where he met the Unger family. They were married by Rev. Schillinger at Salem Lutheran Church in West Alexandria.

1920: Mae Belle Dafler and Aja Johnson

To bring this story full-circle, we return to the Lewis Dafler family. Mae Belle Dafler, his sixth child, ran with a broad circle of friends around New Lebanon. By 1915, Mae (then 21) and her sister Alda (19) began to appear in the New Lebanon social column in the Dayton Daily News. A courtship between Aja Johnson and Mae had begun by the spring of 1920, when they were in a minor car accident together in the later evening hours; they cemented their relationship with a Christmas Eve wedding ceremony on her parent's forty-third wedding anniversary.

In 1923, Mae and Aja took a driving vacation from their home in New Lebanon to see Niagara Falls, with plans to stop and see Cleveland, Buffalo, and "other places of interest" on the way. They brought their two-year-old daughter Margaret along. Also joining the touring group were Aja's brother Harry and Mae's sister Alda, according to the newspaper:

From the Aug. 5, 1923 Dayton Daily News.

Perhaps the long drive and hours spent together kindled a flame between Alda and Harry, because by the end of the year they became the final entry in this list.

1923: Alda Dafler and Harry Johnson

Yes, Alda (Mae's sister) married Harry (Aja's brother) on Dec. 22, 1923 - nearly three years to the day after Mae and Aja wed, and forty-six years after Alda's parents wed.

Harry and Aja were very close brothers. Both of them entered automotive sales at the ground floor, selling Chevrolets in Montgomery and Preble counties.

---

I hope these Christmas tales give you a new perspective in the way Dafler weddings were planned in the period from the Civil War up to about a century ago. While the romantic idea of sharing the love of Christmas with the love of a new spouse was probably not the driving element, I'm happy to know that our early Daflers could find ways to overcome hardship to celebrate their milestones with their families.

(P.S. - Happy Birthday Tony and Andy! Maybe we'll write about Christmas birthdays next year!)