First Generation Daflers, pt. 1: Elizabeth B. Dafler

This is the first in a series of deep-dive studies into each of the eleven children of John Wolfgang and Catherine Dafler.

When I first saw the entry for Elizabeth Dafler in the Dafler Book, it gave me the impression that her story would be short and uneventful:

One name, two husbands, no children. What else could there be to figure out?

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First, let's talk about her name. The Dafler Book is the only place that uses "Missouri" as a middle name for Elizabeth Dafler. It's entirely possible it was her intended name, but none of the records I found made any reference to it.

Her early life is also poorly documented. Our only record for her birthdate comes from our family records, which give it as Dec. 11, 1855. This makes her a 4-year-old living on her father's farm in Maryland when the Civil War broke out. She also shows up on the 1870 census in Jackson Township, Montgomery County, Ohio, presumably having moved with her father to Ohio around 1867. We have no evidence of any formal education for her; on a later census she described her education as the equivalent of 4th grade.

By 1880, she had struck out on her own. She is listed in that year's census as Lizzie Dafler, a servant working for Henry Heistand in Eaton, Ohio. Heistand, by this time, was a very influential and successful businessman, serving as the president of the Preble County National Bank, candidate for local office, and committee member on several civic projects.

The years after 1880 are a gap in her life story; I haven't found any records that describe her activities between then and 1893, when she married an older man in Cincinnati, Ohio. Thomas A. Dillon, a traveling salesman born in 1846, was nine years her senior when they wed in 1893. Their marital bliss ended in a shock just six months later, and Lizzie found herself in the center of immense public attention and ridicule.

L-R: Articles from the Cincinnati Enquirer, Newark Daily Advocate, Piqua Daily Call, and Sidney Journal - all dating from January 1894.

It's important to carefully assess these articles because I fear that some of these reporters exaggerated the drama for their readership. What we know for sure is that Thomas Dillon was indeed still married to his first wife, Ida Berry, when he wed Lizzie. Thomas and Ida wed in 1885 in Greenville, Ohio and no record of their divorce was found in newspaper searches. Newspaper reports also seem consistent that Lizzie's brother Wesley Webster Dafler was involved in swearing out the warrant for Thomas's arrest and arranged the confrontation between Thomas and Ida (though I take the claim that W. W. Dafler would "shoot Dillon on sight" with a grain of salt).

Lizzie made a fateful decision at this time. In the face of Thomas's bigamy and deception, she chose to remain with her husband and be part of his new life in Dayton. Elizabeth's decision was a tradeoff. On the plus side, Elizabeth could live with the man she loved and was introduced into a prosperous life. She purchased many properties in the Dayton area and they lived in progressively nicer homes, retaining the earlier properties for rental income. However, the shame of adultery may have blocked Elizabeth from participation in "polite" society; she never appears in newspaper social announcements in the manner in which other Dafler wives did at this time. It also meant that if her brothers and sisters wished to socialize with her, it could not be made public lest her siblings be accused of supporting her adulterous lifestyle. At a time where it seemed that each of her brother's Sunday dinner guests were documented in the next day's papers, and while she helped her siblings behind the scenes by taking in a daughter into her household and listing their properties for rent in the Dayton papers, she would not be publicized as a guest in the home of any of her family members for the remainder of her life (save for her attendance at her mother's funeral).

Thomas finally obtained a divorce from Ida in March of 1895 and his marriage to Elizabeth was legitimized. Starting in 1895, Thomas and Elizabeth lived together in Dayton, as shown in multiple editions of Williams' Dayton City Directory. Thomas, at this time, began working as what we might describe today as a homeopathic physician:

From the Dayton Herald, June 29, 1895.

Thomas and Elizabeth would spend sixteen years together. The final ten years were spent in a home at 3 Jackson Street in Dayton, in the heart of the Oregon District. From this home Thomas saw patients and they coordinated their rental activities; the Dayton Herald and the Dayton Daily News at this time are both full of their advertisements of houses to rent. Their time together came to an end early in 1910. Thomas died on January 11th of a cerebral hemorrhage suffered in his home.

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Later that year, another couple would begin a tumultuous marriage forty miles north of Dayton in Sidney, Ohio. Samuel Nathanuel Hughes was twenty-five years old in 1910, when he married Grace M. Coffman. Strife entered the picture early in this marriage. By 1913, they had separated; Samuel alerted the neighbors in October that he would no longer stand behind any debts incurred by Grace. In 1914, Grace was arrested for assaulting her sister in what the newspapers described as a "hair-pulling match"; she paid a $5 fine in mayor's court as a result. (Several other newspaper reports cover crimes and indiscretions committed by a Grace Hughes or Grace Coffman, but I cannot definitely link them to this specific Grace). The couple reconciled for a brief time in 1916, where Williams' Dayton City Directory listed Samuel as a confectioner living in rented accommodations with his wife. In the following year's directory, however, Samuel is listed alone again - and jobless. Their relationship ended in 1918. When Samuel registered for the draft that year, he listed his mother as his next of kin, admitting in the draft-card notes that he had been estranged from Grace for two years and had no idea where to find her. He would locate her a few weeks later. Grace had been found paralyzed in Columbus and taken to the county infirmary. She had died on October 8th, 1918 at the age of 33. The county had tried to reach a next of kin for several days, but having found no one, donated her body to the Ohio State University College of Medicine. Samuel found his wife's body there, awaiting dissection, on October 17th, and arranged for her to be returned to Sidney where she was buried.

From the Sidney Daily News, Oct. 17, 1918.

Samuel returned to Dayton to his lodgings at 29 E. Marshall Street. His rooms were two doors west of Marshall Street's intersection with Jackson Street, where the home of Dr. Dillon's widow Elizabeth stood.

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Elizabeth spent nearly ten years as a widow, out of the spotlight. The newspapers mention that she administered her late husband's estate and sold their rental properties; directory and census records imply that she took in boarders at her home on Jackson Street. In 1918 she bought a property in nearby Brookville from her niece Dora Hay. Otherwise there are no mentions of her in the papers or legal records. Somehow Samuel met Elizabeth - perhaps at the German Lutheran church on Wayne and Jackson Streets; perhaps at a local business. By early 1919, both widow and widower could commiserate about their mistreatment by their spouses and their loneliness, despite their 29-year age difference. Elizabeth offered financial stability; maybe Samuel offered the excitement of a younger man who didn't judge her on her past. They married on December 24th, 1919.

This would be a lovely place to say that Samuel and Elizabeth Hughes lived happily ever after... but one last challenge would confront them. Samuel had debts that predated the marriage - perhaps from the confectionery work that fell through, or from the burial or other expenses of his first wife. Either way, Samuel Hughes found himself forced to declare bankruptcy just eight months after their marriage. The initial news reports were routine, but became critical in 1921 when Samuel's creditors discovered that $1000 of bonds and cash had been transferred to Elizabeth in what could have been a fraudulent scheme to hide money from Samuel's debtors. His creditors hired Byron Harlan to represent them. Harlan was no small-time ambulance chaser; he was soon to stand as a candidate as a Common Pleas court judge for Montgomery County, and would eventually represent Ohio's Third District in the United States Congress. Appointing Harlan to serve as their trustee indicated they were rich enough to employ a preeminent litigator, and smelled enough assets in the Hughes household to make legal action profitable. The bankruptcy proceedings would continue through 1925.

Articles from the Dayton Daily News: 1/8/1921, 6/27/1921, 7/31/1921 and 10/13/1922.

After the bankruptcy concluded (the specific details were not published), Elizabeth and Samuel lived out the rest of their lives together. Census records indicate that they moved from Jackson Street to Walnut Street by 1930, and continued to take in roomers. Elizabeth Hughes died in Dayton in 1944 at the age of 88, victim of a cerebral hemorrhage. Samuel Hughes died in 1952 at age 67, struck by an automobile while crossing State Route 4 near Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. They rest together now, side by side and finally at peace, in Sugar Grove cemetery.

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My greatest frustration about the Dafler Book was that all of our ancestors and their activities had been reduced to simple, bland facts: born, married, had children, died. I yearned for the stories that had been lost to time. I now realize that I probably had much too idealistic an expectation of what the stories would reveal. The story of Lizzie Dafler was one of many conundrums that the original authors of the Dafler Book must have faced - how to have a complete record of the family without causing embarrassment. The Dafler Book's sparse structure might have been a reaction to that dilemma.

We're faced with the same dilemma - to idealize our predecessors and draw a gauzy drape over the disturbing parts of our family story, or to dive in, warts and all, and accept the complex reality. I think the reality is worth knowing, even if it's not a storybook tale. I think we can take inspiration from this story, admire the positives in Lizzie's story - perseverance, bravery, a head for finances, and faithfulness - and know that we have some of those qualities in our genetics too.